I would like to start off by saying that I was overwhelmed when I was introduced to ourlady.com by a very close companion of mine, particularly with the happening experienced by the person depicted in the article as I can absolutely identify with such an occurrence after been blessed with a similar incident myself.
I to was in a very difficult place in my life at one stage. Brought on from money woes through the loss of my husbands job, I was greatly tormented by my husband whom unbelievably and out of character became very abusive both mentally and physically and through a lack of self belief I plunged into the very demons that I originally despised. I became the very person that I grew to loath through an escalating, uncontrollable and often denied addiction to alcohol. I sought relief from the abuse through the very thing that caused it in the first place, the sins of life from which a lovely sensitive and caring man turned into a violent and self centered and indulging person that I could scarcely recognize. To be honest, there was a time when I could not recognize myself. In my attempts to mask my pain and sorrow I drank heavily, regularly into a stupor. The abuse continued but it didn’t feel quite as bad as I was numb with sorrow yet suicidal thoughts were never far away. I could see no good in myself or my husband Quite literally, my or indeed both our lives where in turmoil. My friend whom shared this site is dedicated to Our Lady and I regret to say that life’s events lead me to become skeptic of Religion, that is until three years ago from which our lives have changed so dramatically for the better.
For years a very poor woman called at our door seeking whatever spare change we had or any food to take away. It was the same routine. Every two months or so the poor creature in my eyes would knock at our door with her hand out, wrapped in crystal blue Rosary beads. I did not always have much to offer but in a way of moral duty I always felt obliged but could not help wonder why she could not just improve on her life. If I am to be truthful my gesture helped me as much as it did her as I felt she needed my help and it felt good not to be in her position, one of pity. If I am to be honest and shame on me when I think back, I looked upon her a little in an unsavory manner and I am sure on occasions she realized that I just about tolerated her knocking on our door which was very Unchristian like of me. Everything was going well enough for me at that stage, I was in hindsight selfish. I did not even know her name, she did not care to mention and I did not care to ask and never did I think she could offer me anything in return. It was one of my darkest days and I could hardly function through a bout of early morning drinking when this old woman knocked again. For the first time I was curt and less than welcoming and other than a faint thank you I had never had any conversation with this woman before. To my shock and surprise she asked was I okay and commented that I seemed drawn and stressed. I was lost for words and just coherent enough to become slightly embarrassed. Her only words thereafter which really caught me where don’t worry, Our Lady will find you. Weeks passed and on the insistence of my sister I went down to the coast to visit her. I was desperately looking for answers, guidance to get away from my problems and this woman’s words resonated constantly in my mind. One morning I strolled down the harbor, a prominent busy fishing port that I never paid heed to before, anything to keep my mind off the next glass of wine. Looking out to sea I wondered if I could find the strength to turn my life around, what was left I thought, could I ever recover. Would it just be easier to come back when no one was around and jump in to the sea I asked myself , thankfully with a sense of wrong. As I was about to leave I noticed a life sized statue of Our Lady looking out to sea as a protector of the local fishermen, draped with a set of Rosary beads. In that instant the words of a frail poor lady came to mind with great significance, I was really the one to be pitied. I thought what have I got to lose. I said a prayer and immediately felt a feeling I cant describe, I felt almost free. I went home that weekend and bought a set of Rosary beads and turned to Our lady everyday. I gained strength to change my life around and convince my Husband to change his for the better also. To date our lives have changed back so intensely in a positive light its quite hard to believe that we were in such an awful place. We attend church now regularly including every Sunday something we never did before On our second occasion I seen my Savior from across the pew, the old woman, we never said anything, I so much wished to thank her but from both our expressions we said everything, Regrettably to date I have not seen her since but she is in my thoughts and prayers every day.
I just thought I would share that with you as there is hope, Our Lady will help just like in my experience and the story in the article, All you have to do is believe, ask and Pray.
With Love Erica Kendall.